The discreet charm of living in galus

One of the joys of living in an enclave of non-yidden is the interesting use of Yiddish/Hebrew. I'll never forget one of my classmates at college who was going to his Jewish friend's house for the first time and wanted to know if her parents were going to be serving any potato tchotchkes. A yukon gold in lucite perhaps?

Another classic happened last night when we went to a major grocery chain which is capping off an extensive remodel with the addition of a separate kosher meat/deli dept. and a kosher bakery. In any event, there we were strolling the semi-deserted aisles adjacent to the new construction, searching for chicken and kreplach (I am not interested in potchkehing arond with them this year). Bought a chicken, which looked normal, had an expiry date of 16 October and trundled on home. Low and behold when I opened it this afternoon it was ROTTEN. Not just chancy chicken - out and out foul fowl.

Oy. And for this we had schlepped all the way across the metro? It should be a kapporah, I thought, and then called Byerleys to see how to resolve the question. The young manager was very friendly and taken aback by the situation. She asked at what time I'd bought the chicken. When I told her that it was late last night, she sighed and said, "Oh, the moshiach doesn't work that late." My first reaction was how did she have access to the Messiah's dayplanner? Then I realized that she meant "mashgiach" - the rabbinically accredited kashrus supervisor, as it were. It was a nice laugh.

My last smile before Yom Kippur was from a friend here who had been able to go to a kapporah ritual the night before. Performed with live chickens, according to the ritual. Now and then the chickens, being alive and frightened, let loose with their chickenly fluids. This gives rise to the question about what one should put over one's head to avoid this sudden smelly shower. From my experience, as for headcovering, the look du jour is usually shmatte, and a genuine one at that. No one has enough sheitels for a "kapporah sheitel". Heaven forfend that a lady should%2